Eluding love..

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“Hey.. What’s up?”

“Hey.. Nothing much.. Just logged in..”

“Okay.. What plans for the evening?”

“No concrete plans as yet.. Most probably will stay at home itself..”

“Why??”

“Just like that..”

“Okay.. What are uncle-aunty doing?”

“They’ve gone out of town.. Would be returning by tomorrow..”

“Oh my.. Then what were you doing upto now.. You should’ve told me, I’d have come over to give you company!”

“They just left..”

“Alright.. I’ll be there in an hour! It’s gonna be a long evening! Let’s have fun! 😉 “

“Okay..”

She had recently developed the feelings for him. He was witty, wonderful, humorous, decent, never ever stressed about life and he never got bogged down by the pressures/problems and always faced them with a smile. What she liked the most was she could be herself in front of him without having to put up some act and without the fear of being judged. She never had to think twice before speaking anything in front of him. Even when they talked of sex, porn, girls, boys, love, life etc she was unusually comfortable being around him. She asked him stuff that she would’ve thought twice even to talk in front of other girls, yet he smilingly answered them and never tried to take advantage of her.
Although, she can never say what made her fall in love with him, but it probably was his flirting. She knew that he always maintained that they were just friends and he had nothing else in mind, and she herself had told him the same many a times. Yet, she fell for him through his flirting.
She wanted to be alone with him for a while now but she never got about doing that. Finally she got a chance and she wasn’t gonna let it go.

She showered. Shampooed her hair. Wore his favourite cologne. Put on a white skirt and red shirt and drove to his place. (Yeah, red was his favourite colour.) She didn’t ring the bell but messaged him to open the door instead. (Ever since text-messages and then Whatsapp has taken over, we seldom ring the bell at a friend’s place. We text him/her to open the door instead.)

“Hi!” she said excitedly.

“Hey..” he smiled and let her in.

“So, what were you doing? Watching porn I suppose,” she said winking.

“Haha! Gone are the days of watching, sweetheart!” he said indicating that presently his days were of ‘doing’.

“You naughty!” she nudged him with an elbow.

“Are you going on a date or something from here?” he asked.

“Noo.. I don’t have any plans of going anywhere.. I’m gonna stay here with you all along,” she said. “But, why do you ask?”

“Oh.. Nah, you have dolled up with new pair of clothes and the seductive cologne, so I thought…” he said winking.

‘Oh idiot! I have taken this pain of getting ready for you.. Not for someone else!’ she wanted to say but checked herself in time. She just smiled instead.

“Coffee?” he asked.

“You put some Bluray DVD, I’ll get the coffee,” she offered.

She entered the small home-theatre with 2 cups of hot coffee and pop corn and sat down on the sofa beside him. Closer than the usual. He thanked her for the coffee and pop corn and put a hand around her shoulders as they watched the movie. She smirked at his choice of the movie and cursed him. He had put a comedy while she was expecting him to put some romantic movie.
He nonchalantly started indulging in unimportant chats. What an idiot, she cursed him again. She leaned on his shoulders. Although she wanted him very badly, she wanted him to make the first move. But, she knew, he wouldn’t make the move.

“So, you didn’t say, how am I looking?” finally she asked not able to control herself.

“Oh! You’re looking smokin’ heart, sweet heart!” he said. “And, am sure, you’d have turned many heads with that ‘cleavage exposure’ while on your way!” he teased.

She was both agitated and elated. Elated because he had noticed her top button was open and agitated because he thought she came in the same attire all through the way. I opened the top button of my shirt when I was in front of your door, you idiot! she wanted to say.

“Thanks..” she said coldly. “And I wasn’t exposing all through the way. I had my scarf.”

“Oh, okay fine..” he said smiling to himself.

Noticing him smile, she nudged him again.

“You never get serious, do you? Always making fun of every damn thing,” she said still waiting for him to make a move.

“Oh, I’m very serious about you, sweet heart!” he said.

“Ah, stop kidding..” she said. Although, inside, she wanted him to go on and wanted it to be true. But, she knew that it was just feeling-less friendly flirting.

“I’m bored of this movie already. Let’s do something else,” she said standing up.

“What do you have in mind?” he teased winking at her.

“Yeah, that only. Come on, let’s bang each other!” she said laughing, coming closer and aiming at his top button.

“Haha! Can’t wait,” he said, not even trying to stop her or take a step back.

“You are such a moron!” she said finally and let go of his shirt.

“Awww.. You were just kidding, eh? I actually thought that I’d be, you know, with a smokin’ hot girl!” he teased.

“Shut up!” she said, her hairs rising behind her neck at the prospect of standing so close to him.

He just winked at her.

“I just can’t stop thinking about her,” she said. “Did you both, umm, err…”

“Cut it,” he said. “Don’t remind me of her…”

Does he really not want to think of her or did he say that to avoid talking about ‘it’ , she wondered.

“But you’ve to move on, right? How long will you keep thinking of her when she’s long gone?” she said.

“I know that I’ve to move on and that thinking of her all the time won’t bring her back to me.. But..”

“But what?” she asked.

“I don’t know.. I just need some more time, may be..”

“More time? Dude, it’s already been 2 years! How much more time do you need? There’s a whole life in front of you.. You’ve tried all that you could.. When she obviously isn’t interested in talking to you, there’s no point in waiting for her, right?” she said.
Partly because she was concerned and partly because she wanted him to get over her. Needless to say, she was jealous.

“You’ve never told me what went wrong with you.. You just said that you both had to part ways.. I never asked because I din’t want to force you to tell.. I thought that as and when you feel like talking, you’d talk on your own. But whatever happened, get your shit together and move on,” she said agitatedly.

“Okay…”

“I agree that she must have meant the world to you and going by your attitude, she sure as hell means the world to you even now! But, be practical and be real. She has moved on and happily so. She hasn’t contacted you in 2 years and hasn’t replied to your texts/mails/calls, which clearly means that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. Why don’t you just accept it?”

“I know.. But.. I guess, I just don’t want to move on..”

“You know what, you’re simply hurting yourself. Well, for all the love of her for you, if she ever did, I don’t think she would ever want you to be sad or hurt.. But, since she has left you, I don’t think….”

“STFU!” he cut her short. “You know nothing of her and what happened between us and you’ve no rights whatsoever to comment on her or her love for me! It was pure, unconditional, eternal love and it was all that I wanted!” he stated.

“Fine then! Even if she does’t want to see you or talk to you, keep wanting her only, like a loser! ” she lost her temper. She hated her more than anything else.

He was about to retort back, but he checked himself short. He saw the reason in her words. How much ever he hated to listen to those words, those were true.
She saw him calming down and she too calmed down.

“Look, I’m sorry. I din’t mean to hurt you.. I just want you to be happy and I’m sure she would want the same,” she said.

Tears welled up his eyes. “I love her.. I really really love her..”

“I..I’m sorry,” she said hugging him, teary eyed. She didn’t know what hurt her more, her love for him or his love for someone else.

He didn’t protest, hugged her back and said that’s alright.

Of course it wasn’t right! Her insides were burning. How could she even bear to listen those special words for someone else with such passionate feelings when she longed to hear those words for herself.
She wanted to run away, lock herself up in her room and cry her heart out. But, she so didn’t want to leave him alone in his condition either. She decided to stay. She decided to hurt herself.
What hurt her even more was that he was so absorbed and obsessed over his past that he didn’t even see the love in her eyes for him.

What an irony. When you want someone, that someone doesn’t want you. When someone wants you, you don’t want them. And if you both want each other, then destiny plays the spoilsport.

This entry was posted in feelings, fiction, hurt, life, love, pain, relationships, sad. Bookmark the permalink.

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