I will get over you..

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I will get over you.. I know it’s already been 2 years, but then, it isn’t such a long time, is it? Will get over you soon.. Very soon..

I know you have already put me in the past, long ago and moved on and are doing fine for yourself.. But.. I’m struck where I was.. Tried my best to let you go, but could not.. But then, what’s the hurry, no? I will get over you.. Soon..Very soon..

I don’t know how you managed to let me go.. Sure, I’d like to know.. Because I’m tired of being low.. Want to refresh the life, move on and let you go..

Because, I still clearly remember the day I first saw you.. I still remember the day of short (but very sweet) conversation that we had near the steps for the first time.. I still remember the day how we went together for a college event and those silent glances that we exchanged.. I still remember the day that you turned around to look at me….and smiled! (if only I didn’t slip that day, we would have had our first long and proper conversation back then!)

Then, finally, came the moment! I came and sat behind you and clearly neither of us was interested in the boring lecture. We got talking. Books, movies, boys, girls, lecturers, college, life, we practically talked about almost everything, oblivious to the fact that the lecturer had long left the class and also oblivious to all the eyes that were staring upon us.

That fateful conversation was followed by mails which were followed by texts which were followed by calls which was followed by our first date. We practically became inseparable in just less than a fortnight and were talking constantly to each other. We grew fond of each other and we soon realised that the attraction was mutual.

One date turned into innumerable dates, movies, hang outs, long drives, late night calls, 24×7 texts. We grew so accustomed to each other that we knew each other’s time table, daily routine, thought process, action-reaction. We didn’t need to ask each other to know certain things because we already knew how the opposite person would feel, think or react in a particular situation.

Not to forget the numerous fights that we had which brought us closer and closer. We began to understand each other well. We fought, we consoled. We fought, we cried. We fought, we laughed. We fought, we didn’t talk and then we fought again because we didn’t talk. But we never stopped loving each other. Not for a moment, not an instance. Bigger the fight, bigger the celebrations of reconciliation. Longer the fight, longer we talked. And blamed. And laughed. For being stupid to fight over stupid things.

Yeah, I use WE. Because we always existed together. Until that fateful day….

I still remember that day which wasn’t bright.. on which we had our last fight.. After which you boarded the flight.. And went far away out of my sight.. Never to return, never to talk.. It wasn’t right.. It wasn’t right..

To say that I miss you would be an under-statement. To say that I love you would be stupid. To say that I need you would be a lie. To say that am incomplete without you would be putting it just right.

I always thought that I was a strong guy. I always thought that nobody, in their absence, could ever make me cry. I always thought that movies and novels always fed me only lies. But, when you left me, all alone on my side, I wept until my tears dried..

You said you wanted to go. I didn’t protest. You asked me not to disturb you. I obliged. You asked me not to talk, text or mail you. I obliged. You asked me never to show you my face. I obliged. Then why the f**k didn’t you ask me not to remember you? Why didn’t you ask me never to think of you? Why didn’t you ask me to stop loving you? May be I’d have as well obliged you with those requests too!

It’s been 2 years now.. Slowly, I will learn to live without you.. I will stop living everyday with an anticipation of bumping into you.. I will stop living with the hope of a reconciliation.. I will stop thinking of you.. I will stop missing you.. I will move on too.. Some day.. One day.. I will get over you.. Soon.. very soon..
But then, I’m not really sure if I can actually get over you… Ever!

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One Response to I will get over you..

  1. Pingback: Just leave me alone! - Jigar Doshi

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