She – WTF! How in the name of Jesus did you say yes?
He – Technically, I didn’t. She did. I had tried my best to elicit a no. But if she’s so hell-bent on committing suicide, I can’t do anything.
She – Don’t act too smart. This isn’t funny.
He – I am not being funny. I’m just stating the fact.
She – Whatever. Take me through your conversation and I would tell you what you could have done to save a life. Or two.
He – Yeah, let’s hear you out as well. So, here we go.
I arrived at the restaurant on time and as always the lady in question was late by just half an hour. When she did finally turn up, I stood up and extended my hand.
I : Hey.
She – Hii, I’m really sorry I got stuck in traffic.
I (sarcastically) : How cliched!
She – Excuse me?
I – Uh, nothing. Would you like to have something?
She – I wouldn’t mind a cold coffee.
I (mischievously) – You really wanna have coffee here?
She – Excuse me? (blushing, as it dawns on her) Gosh.. No! I was, err, I meant, the drinking coffee.
She – You don’t leave sarcasm or double-meaning entendre anywhere you go, right? Moron! You just met her, man, how could you straight-away start with that?
He – That’s just me, girl. You want to hear the rest of it or not?
She – Go on..
I – Of course. I was referring to the drinking coffee itself. Whether you wanna have it here or outside in the open lawn? Why, what did you think?
She (red with embarrassment) – I.. I thought.. You.. Uh, nothing.
I ordered cold coffee for both of us. Please get us a few extra tissues, the lady here would need them later. Thank you.
She – You’re such an a-hole! You really told the waiter that she’d need extra tissues? Omg!
He – Lol, yes. I did really tell him that.
She – What made you think that she would cry, you narcissist pig?
He – My charm, baby, my charm. Now don’t you dare disturb me again or you aren’t hearing any of the rest of it.
I (seriously) – Okay. So why are we here?
She (stammering) – Umm, I.. Um.. I just wanted to.. Um..
I – Look, let me get straight to the point. I know we aren’t here to discuss some stupid course details, which, by the way, is very easy to gather if you spend just 10-15 mins on Google.
She (dumbfounded) – Yeah, you… you’re right.
I – You bet I am.
She – So, um, do you know why are we here?
I – Of course I know. It’s so obvious. So do you you have any questions in mind?
She – (nodding her head in negative)
I – Alright then, let me begin. I already am in love with another woman and there is no way that I am going to let you or anybody else take her place in my life.
She (shocked) – But, err, I was told that you were available..
I – I am. I just said I’m in love with a woman, I didn’t say that we are together. Let’s just say that some things didn’t work out for us and we had to drift apart. But, right now, am in no intention of settling down. I still have a long way to go.
Just in case, if you say yes and I am forced to say yes as well, do remember, you’d never take her place and you’d never get the love from me that you expect and actually deserve.
We may not be together in person, but I can always feel her presence around me, I still distinctly remember her voice, her smile, her fragrance and her touch. I don’t need photographs to see her, I just close my eyes and there it is, as if she were standing there in person. There are a million memories so clearly etched in my heart that it would be impossible for me to delete them or re-write them or let someone else in the place occupied by her and only her.
She – But..
I – Wait. Let me complete. You may be thinking that I am being adamant now but I would forget her as time passes. Or I will get used to your presence around me and I would forget her. Or, someday, I may begin to love you as well. Let me be very very clear, that is NOT going to happen. Not in this lifetime, at least. I love her and would love her every single day of my life. I would wait for her, if not this lifetime, then, some other, may be, but I would keep waiting for her in the hope that someday we will get to be together.
She (gathering herself) – If you really love her so much, why did you leave her?
I – Look, girl, let bygones be bygones. Why don’t you just take care of yourself?
She – I am doing just that. I need to know what happened between you two before settling down for an answer.
I – Haha, that’s really funny. Go back home and settle down for a no.
She – Were you really this rude to her or are you just painting it a bit for me?
He – Nah, I was really like that to her. Her facial expressions, when I was telling her about my love, pretty clearly indicated that she was already in awe of me and that she wouldn’t say no for nothing. So, I had to improvise.
She (agitated) – What makes you so snobbish and obnoxious, again? And what makes you think some girl would be ‘in awe’ of an a-hole she had just met and who hadn’t left any stone unturned to insult her or push her away?
He (smiling) – I don’t really need to give you an answer for this rhetorical question, do I? You already know the answers. Hint, take a look at the person standing in front of you.
She – You and your self-jingoism.
She – Will let you know what I settle for in a couple of days.
I – What makes you think that I would be waiting for an answer?
She (confidently) – Me..
I – Really? That’s cool. Unfortunately, you weren’t that interesting that I would remember you once I leave this restaurant. By the way, the coffee’s on me.
She – You will. Was good to meet you. Thanks for the coffee and see you soon.
I – Look, I don’t have anything against you. You’re good looking, smart and intelligent. Don’t waste your life. Just hang in there, there’s plenty of fish in the pond. You deserve someone who’d love you with his all and who’d keep you happy. With me, it would only be tears and loneliness. All the best. Ta!
She – If I were her, I guess, I would have at least slapped you before leaving. Man, I just could not stand that cocky behavior of yours. I wonder how did she manage to stay calm.
He – She was busy falling in love with me..
She – Whatever. So, continue, what happened next?
He (mischievously) – Coffee happened.
She – (groaning)
She (smiling) – I told you we will meet soon again.
I – I wasn’t counting on it.
She – So, this time, the coffee is on me and I wouldn’t need the tissues either.
I – Can we get to the point, please? I don’t have much time to spare for these unwanted pleasantries.
She – Okay, coming to the point. Yes!
I – Excuse me?
She (excitedly) – Yes. Yes. Yes!
I – Are you out of your mind?
She – Yes, I am. Ever since we met, I actually am out of my mind. I feel butterflies in my stomach and everything around me looks good and beautiful. I find myself ever-smiling and happier then ever before. I love you, from the bottom of my heart.
I – You’re crazy.
She – Thank you! I really am crazy for you.
I – That wasn’t a compliment.
She – I know sarcastic guy.
I – Why?
She – Technically, you don’t need a reason to fall in love. You just do. And I fell in love with you when we met. I love you…
I – I heard that already. Unfortunately, your excitement isn’t contagious and won’t be reciprocated.
She – I know that it won’t be reciprocated but that doesn’t matter. I am in love with you and that is enough for me. I told yes to my folks and now unless your love is back in your life, you don’t really have any other option I guess.
I – I had warned you, didn’t I?
She – Calm down, big guy. You did warn me and I know what I’m plunging into. I am not into this for nothing.
I – Well, then, be rest assured that you would never get what you desire from me.
She – Ah, you got me wrong. I am not getting into this to demand love from you. I am into this because of your love for her.
I – Excuse me?
She – Yeah, I’ve grown up watching romantic movies and reading romantic novels. Ever since, I had imagined a Prince Charming for myself who would come to me and sweep me off my feet with his charm. Who would love me truly, madly, deeply, eternally, sincerely, unabashedly and without any expectations.
I – And you found your Prince Charming in me? Wow.
She – Well, yes. Except the ‘love me’ part, you really are a Prince Charming. I was half an hour late, yet you did’t show any signs of annoyance, but were just sarcastic. You asked me about what I would like to have even though you were there just to get rid of me. You could have simply skipped meeting me or could have avoided, but no, you didn’t. You came, you met, you talked and you explained. That shows that you won’t run away from tough situations but talk through it.
You straight away got to the point and told me about how much you love your girl. I could see the glow in your eyes when you talked about her and there was no bitterness against her even though you both aren’t together. At first I thought you were cooking up a story to get rid of me, but then, I could see the sincerity in your voice, the love in your eyes and the hope in your words. You tried your best to get rid of me, you were snobbish, obnoxious and rude, yeah, but you never insulted me. I was totally floored by your attitude.
I really was beginning to think that you wouldn’t break, but you did. Just as I was leaving, you did finally show your concern in you last few words. All these were enough to tell me that I would be very happy with you.
Oh and by the way, I know there’s plenty of fish in the pond, but who wants to date a fish. I want to date a real man.
I – Wow. Just amazing.
She – Ah, I know you’re still being sarcastic, but trust me, I am not making any of this up. I really liked our meeting, mind you it was nothing like I had expected or envisioned, still I really fell in love with you.
I – This is suicide.
She – Look, I know you don’t love me. You will love her all your life. I wanted someone who would love me truly. Finding true love in these days is so rare. Fortunately for me, I did find a guy who is capable of loving someone truly, unfortunately for me, that true love isn’t for me. But, don’t you worry, I would never force you to love me or never try to replace her.
I respect her and she’s so lucky that she had someone who loved her truly and who still loves her truly. I don’t know what transpired between you two and why you both had to drift apart, and frankly, although I am curious, I don’t really care. If you feel like telling me someday, you can share, even if you don’t, I wouldn’t mind.
I wouldn’t demand anything, I wouldn’t desire anything from you. Anyway, there’s nobody else in your life. So, let me just be with you.
I – You are really stupid.
She – Let me give you a bumper offer. At any point of time, she returns to your life, I would happily go away from your life. You don’t owe me anything and I am no responsibility for you. She comes and I would leave on my own. Till then, let me be with you.
I (smiling) – You would make a nice salesgirl.
She (excitedly) – Do I take it as a yes?
I – My folks won’t take a no from me if you’ve given them a yes already.
She – Technically, I didn’t. I wanted to be sure and I wanted to know your opinion, first.
I – Well, in that case, let us just close this here, shall we?
She (dejected) – I…
I (smiling) – Look, I accept what all you told. It’s one thing to think and feel and another thing to practically live with someone who doesn’t love you but loves someone else. It is impossible to not get affected. Today you may say that you won’t desire, demand or expect, but that is practically impossible. And even you know that. So, I guess, it is better to end it here.
She – But, I really want to stay with you. Let me just stay, please? I swear I would not make life difficult for you. Okay, just a little, may be?
I – Lol. I know what’s in store for me, but fine. If you are so desperate to commit suicide, who am I to stop you?
He – So, now, what do you have to say? Do you still think I could have done anything to stop her?
She – Yeah, I have to say that beneath that facade, you really have a soft corner.
He – Aww. Even you are falling in love with me? How sweet!
She – Falling in love? I already love you, sweet heart!